Motherhood by Jessica Castro

 I drunkenly stumbled into my bedroom bathroom on a Saturday night and a thought popped into my head. ‘Maybe I should take a pregnancy test.’ My period was a few days late and I had two pregnancy tests left from a while back. As I stared at the freshly pee’d on stick, I instantly saw the start of two lines appear. I was pregnant (for the first time) and I was stunned!

         Fast-forward to Valentine’s Day (over two days past my due date) and my beautiful baby girl was born just forty-nine minutes after midnight. It makes sense to me now, why she was born on the day that we celebrate love. She has brought a tremendous amount of love into my life (an indescribable and incomparable kind of love).

         Motherhood is nothing that you can prepare for. Sure you can study up on how to care for infants: how often to breast feed, how many diapers you’ll need to change, or how to calm a crying baby; but being a Mom hits you at your core. No one and nothing on Earth can explain what being a Mom really means until you get there (but I will try).

Being a Mom means:

You have to dive right in. You don’t get much time to transition from pregnant Woman to new Mother or to digest your birth experience. [Givingbirth naturally at home was an amazing experience, however, the last 5-6 hours of it were pretty traumatic for me. After I pushed her out I was so relieved and happy, but also, mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. I wish I had more time to process my birth before being thrown into Mommy mode (eventhough, I’m not sure what that would have looked like or if that’s a realistic thought). I also wish others would have taken more photos of me with my newborn baby, as I was too zonked out to suggest it.]

You are forever changed.

You are no longer your first priority (and if you have a spouse you may not even be your second priority).

You are undertaking the hardest thing you have ever done. Growing a human being was incredibly hard, birthinga baby was exceptionally hard, but raising a baby to be a well rounded, healthy, and happy person is astronomically harder.

You will get to experience alot of new feelings. (And as great as the love and most of the other emotions you feel are, they can be overwhelming at times.)

Your new ‘job’ never ends (there is no where to run, so hang on and enjoy the ride).

You have to figure out who you are again. (Your sense of self can be lost in the beginning.)

You are always searching for the answers. You may wonder if you are doing this parenting thing right. [And I can’t wait until my baby grows into a young child and starts every sentence with ‘What’s that?’ or ‘Why…?’.]

You have to look at where you’ve been to get where you need to go. If you come from a dysfunctional family (a good portion of us have) you may try to fix it for your child’s sake. [I know I have.] Eventually you will realize it is more sensible to work on building the family you want with your new family unit, rather than repairing the old.

You get the chance to grow each day. And you may need a Red Bull or two from time to time (caution: Red Bull energy drinks aren’t recommended for nursing Mothers). The energy it takes to be your best self everyday is exhausting at times; and your child pushes you to be even better.

You want to cherish every moment (and document them all for memories sake). You can never take enough pictures (or videos) because if panic hasn’t already sunk in that time is fleeting; feel lucky!

You have to be strong (especially in the beginning). You may get about a month or so of a ‘honeymoon’ stage after your baby is born. Then everyone disappears (not completely, but basically) and you are left to raise your new family, alone.

Each day is a gift.

You are apart of an incredible club of other selfless and astonishing Women.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible Mothers out there!!! For all the sacrifices we have made and will continue to make each day. May we share this remarkable, beautiful journey together! <3 (& a special shout-out/thanks to all the people who support Women on their journeys into Motherhood!)